The Importance of Saying No

No is one of the shortest words, yet one of the toughest to say. While no one has found a way to buy time, we can take more measured steps to protect our time and live out happier lives.

In an article published in Better Homes and Gardens in April, 2012 by Karen Haywood Queen, four steps are suggested that could lead you across the pond of endless obligations to the hammock of personal bliss.

Are you the person who everyone thinks to call when volunteer work is needed? You know, the person who ends up organizing the reunion instead of enjoying it. It might be time to learn how to say "no" and mean it without alienating yourself. It's OK to say no and feel good doing it.

Decline Delicately - a great place to start you on your path to freedom. Example: if you are asked to head up a big-time fund-raiser, Karen suggests saying something like, "Wow, I'm honored that you thought of me for this important event, but my schedule is so hectic right now that I couldn't give it the attention that it deserves." It's not a hard hit, but more of a soft landing - no feelings hurt.

Be Honest But Vague - The less said the better. No need to feel guilty by lying, people can tell when someone is not being truthful. "Simply say you are booked and leave it at that," says Karen.

Negotiate Terms - "Many people agree to requests without knowing the logistics, which can be a trap," says psychologist Susan Newman, Ph.D., author of The Book of No (McGraw-Hill). The next time you are asked to volunteer, ask more questions. Are you expected to take everyone's jacket before the event or are you preparing all the food for the event? You will get a clear understanding of the expected time commitment and whether or not you want to make the time.

Put You On Your Schedule - Use the calendar on your iPad or smart phone to schedule your personal time for working out, enjoying coffee with a friend, or to read that book that you've been wanting to read. "Saying yes to someone can mean saying no to something you'd rather do, says Nancy Austin, coauthor of The Assertive Woman (Impact Publishers).

Remember, it is your time to schedule. If you don't schedule your personal time, everyone else will schedule it for you. Here's to taking back your time and happiness in 2012, it's not too late!


For further information on the home buying process or selling process, contact Todd Adams at 503-332-5227 or visit Home Search